Know Your Personality

According to the Big Five Personality Theory every human personality is a mix of five traits; openness, extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness and neuroticism (OCEAN). You can either rank high or low in all or any of the five traits. Being high in a trait is not necessarily desirable or undesirable but rather a relative condition.

So what is this theory and what does it tell us? For starters, it tells us a lot about ourselves. Why should you know your traits? There are a plethora of reasons for this. First and foremost, once you know who you are, only then can you make effective decisions about your future. Ik ben toch? (am I right?) Secondly, the theory allows us to define certain aspects of our selves in tangible hearable words. For instance, I was never able to explain to my own self, let alone others, why I always just HAD to meet friends or families at least five times a week. Not doing so, made me feel lethargic and unaccomplished? The same feelings were not felt by my parents or most friends hence it made me feel confused and like an outcast? I used to wonder but always concluded that perhaps I am a unique piece, UNTIL, I came across the big five. The theory told me that I was high on the personality trait of extroversion; which states how outgoing a person is. Highly extroverted people are energized when they are around other humans, where as the opposite can be true for people low on extroversion. Now this explained a lot to me. Now when I suddenly sense the urge to go out of my home, I know where it is coming from. The sporadic trips to a friend’s house now seem less uncanny as I know now they fill a purpose; energizing my social tank. Also, I can now use this information to save my time. Instead of using more energy by going out, I can also spend more quality time with my parents or siblings and build our relationships stronger. Which leads to another advantage, being able to get creative and explore new ways to make the best use of my traits in a manner that suit me best and also are natural to me.

The O.C.E.A.N

Lets dig deeper into what the traits are and what they show about you. As you read them, try to see whether you are high or low in those traits. Knowing yourself can not only give you more self knowledge but also clarity regarding important decisions such as what kind of jobs might suit you or how to spend your free time in the most fulfilling way.

1. Openness: This tells us how open you are to new experiences. If you are adventurous, always hungry for try new things, watch the newest movies and have dined in almost all of your cities restaurants then you can count yourself high in this trait. However, if you are pragmatic, love habits, rituals and do not like surprises, then you might be low in openness. People low in this trait usually follow strict schedules, and I personally love this idea. (Although I am high on openness I try very hard to adopt this habit of low open people to follow a schedule.)
2. Conscientiousness: This is about how reliable or dependable you can be. If you are highly organized and sometimes labeled as too controlling or rigid, then you may be very high in this trait. However, if you are always the person who forgot to charge her phone last night or if you find yourself asking for a pen at an exam, then you may be low in this trait. Studies show that you can tell a persons ranking on conscientiousness by just noticing their clothing. If they are clothed very prim and properly, they might be high on the trait. Do you always make the effort of looking your best ANYWHERE you go?
3. Extroversion: As discussed earlier, this is about whether you like being around people or not. For some people meeting with other people is a task and it drains their energies. They need a rest day to recover from the exhaustion. If this is you, then you are low on extroversion. However, if being with people is what you enjoy and you always find yourself agreeing to get together’s and parties, then yes, you are high. For low extroverts fun activities can be watching a movie or reading a book. If you are low on this trait, what are your activities that you do for leisure? I’d really like to know.
4. Agreeableness: The name says it all. Are you prone to saying yes to everyone? If yes = you’re high on agreeableness. If you always first say no and then think about whether you should agree or not, then, yes you guessed it, you are low on agreeableness. Please note, it is very normal to fall in the midst of the two extremes of high or low of any trait. In fact, majority of people find themselves in the middle of high and low scale for most traits.
5. Neuroticism: This trait is about how much pressure can you take. Do you get stressed easily? Then you may be high on neuroticism. This is the only trait, I believe, personally, that one should try to be low in. High neurotics, however, do bring with them many advantages. For instance, they have a back up plan for everything. They make sure that there is always a plan B and will go at lengths to avoid failure. So if you are working on a project you cant afford to lose, you might want a high neurotic on the team. Extremely low neuroticism can lead to apathy and lack of drive to take initiatives or fix situations. Hence a mid-neurotic I think might be most desirable. Again this is my opinion, not researches. What do you think?

Reflect

So what did you discover while reading? Where do you rank yourselves on all the big five traits? High, low or in the middle? Remember, the better you are at understanding yourself and communicating your identity to others, the better chances you have of building authentic relationships and making meaningful decisions. For instance, as someone high on extroversion I know a desk job is not for me. In order for me to fully enjoy my job it has to involve daily human interaction. Being high on neuroticism would mean I do not do well under pressure, so adopting a stress free routine will be best for me. If I know I am highly agreeable, then maybe I would want to think a little longer before I habitually “agree” to the next request.

Take out some time and focus on your traits. Is your daily routine in accordance with your personality type? If yes, then congratulations. If not, then even better for you. Now you can explore yourself and see what other interesting avenues can you open up for yourself.

Once you understand yourself, then the next step is naturally to decipher other peoples personality types. This insight can empower you to have meaningful conversations with the other person instead of just small forgettable talk. Moreover, it can also allow you to be more influential as you will have mastered the art of communicating to people in a way that comes naturally to them. According to Dr. Robert Cialdini, we humans tend to favor and like people who are similar to us. So if you can communicate with others in a way that suits their personality you can also be more likable!

For information regarding how to read other peoples personality types, directly or indirectly, along with much more social hacks, you can enroll in my Udemy course on the “Science of Influence.” Through this link you get 74% off the original price.